Super GODDAMN mario was walink thru da fj�rest when tragedy struck. MOTHAFUCKIN LUIGI choked on a chicken bone! this was bad, and it wasnt just bad, it was bad. mario hopped on a motorcycle and zippity-dipped down to luigi in eastern iowa. he ate a CHICKEN BONE MUSHROOM which gave him the ability to control chicken bones, so he controlled the chicken bone out of luigi's windpipe. "thank-a you so much for to saving a-my life, bro," luigi said with a chicken bone sized tear rolling down his cheek. "it's what i do............bitch," responded mario with a chicken bone sized chicken bone in his hand. luigi hopped on mario's back, and mario hopped back on his chopper, and they chopper'd through a WARP PIPE which spat them out in the magical world of NEW JERSEY. little did they lnow, however, that NEW JERSEY was under attack by the evil forces of OLD JERSEY
so obviously the boys knew there was no saving this one. they had to cut their losses and BURN DOWN NEW JERSEY. this was sad because they had family and friends there, but they did what needed to be done. so they doned it. unfortunately, OLD JERSEY escaped to NEW YORK. they did not follow it. suddenly, from the embers of NEW JERSEY came SONIC THE HEDGEHOG who was desperate for GAY SEX. mario nor luigi were gay (but they sent much love to the lgbtq community), so they let sonic ride with them on his quest for GAY SEX. and then, from inside sonic's mouth came.... ohhhhhhh chinese ninja warrior........ with your heart so cold........ sub-zeeeeeeeeroooooooooooooooooooooooo from mortal kombat was there. he had given up his violent ways in order to pursue his lifelong dream of assembling ikea furniture for those with disabilities. for a price. so now, rolling down the interstate was sub-zero on sonic's back on luigi's back on mario's back on a motorcycle on the road on the ground on the planet earth and that there earth, lemme tells ya, it was their oyster.
....until it BLEW UP
....but that was like a billion years after the story anyway...
...or WAS IT????