Barry Bingle's Big Day Out

by G-Zone

At the edge of the world at the end of the world stood Barry Bingle. A lumberjack by trade, though now, there were no more jacks to lumber. All of the world's forests had been cut down to make "The Big Spoon", which was meant to be the world's biggest spoon. However it was beaten out by a spoon 2 inches taller, carved 6 minutes prior. Now, all Barry had to do with his days was search for a partner with which to repopulate the planet. Did I mention Barry may be the last man alive? I meant to. Badda bing badda boom. Anyway there was one problem. Barry Bingle had no dingle. Badda bang. He had tried sneaking into a genetic experimentation laboratorty and mixing together all types of green and blue fluids in an attempt to grow one but it did not work. Not even a little. In fact, all it did was make him go bald. So he was bald and had no dingle. What a world! So that's the other thing Barry spent his time doing; trying to grow a dingle. Barry got on his horse, Budweiser, and began his trek to Dingleland, and boy was he in for a bumpy ride.

They rode through the bump field, filled with bumpy bumps, and they got the hell bumped out of them. After that, Barry took a major dump. Budweiser ate it. Anyway, Barry's next stop was Dallas, Florida, where the world's most brilliant scientist in the world lived, atop the world's tallest mountain, known only as La Chupacabra.

TO BE CONTINUED...